I can't keep being the salve you put on your soul.
One day, you'll push and the momentum won't bring me back.
The pendulum string will falter.
For the first time in my life
I swear I'm not trying to fix you.
Anyone for that matter.
Stuck in flow, unwilling to get out.
Hard to describe, enjoying what floats.
Here as one—
Dashed against the rocks.
Accepting the heartache and pain you invested in,
For they gave me these words.
Without torture and self-destruction,
Without narcissism and hatred,
Wandered life mute.
An appropriate price to pay,
But the pound of flesh haunts.
Relationship a phantom limb.
Pain will be whole again.
My words will find your ears once more,
They’ll be spoken by a man you no longer adore.
Grizzled and worn, tan and beaten.
Spanish on lips, someone new on tongue.
You’re the only one who’ll see it;
Hiding beneath the surface.
You know my geography well enough
To see this new set of mountains and valleys.
Strengthened over the years, fertile with conversation.
Lakes carved into earth, teeth marks.
The tectonic shift will go back to the first night you told me
You loved someone else.
Didn’t believe you then
But had no voice to convince.
I’d tell you now
But I’m swinging back somewhere safe.